The campaign is over almost as soon as it's started, and with no real incentive to revisit any of its levels. I think I used that once or twice, though never anything approaching tactics or more than mild caution. Your arsenal of freedom ranges from the machine gun that kills everything dead and renders everything else more or less useless to.
#Bonecraft porn upgrade
(Right, ladies?) It's squad based, every level bar the last being split into three rounds with assorted objectives like capturing points and protecting Worth's devoted Sexbot from orcish attention, and a few similar things that mostly involve holding down the fire button and trying not to shout at the camera and your rubbish aiming controls.īetween missions you can upgrade your squad and equipment using money pillaged from the ground, though it's a short campaign and any deaths you suffer are more likely to be from getting chipped to death when surrounded than being unprepared. The action - the hack and slash action - is limp and unimpressive, but it tries hard, and that at least deserves a few points. Not that this stops him also getting balls-deep in both orc and robot flavours by the third level.Īnd know you know the plot. Slocombe in the galaxy, can satisfy his lust. Slocombe, officially the sexiest, juciest Mrs. a word I find deeply coarse and distasteful and will therefore be replacing with the far more civilised "Mrs. You play Colonel Fort Worth, cigar-chomping, Findlay-voiced leader of a squad of Space Wranglers, on a desperate quest for. The surprising thing about BoneCraft is that it is actually a game - though confusingly that game is a single-player hack-and-slash rather than some kind of porny RPG pastiche. But reading on will be much, much safer for work. No, it's a porn parody that goes so far out of its way to flick Blizzard's nose, its developers D-Dub even hired the actor who played Tychus "You Are Hearing Mah Voice" Findlay to be its leading man.īut can it hope to provide the hottest elf-on-elf action since Teldrassil's finest introduced a shocked looking Azeroth to the Wrath of the Licking? There's only one way to find out. It's not just a World of Warcraft porn parody guest-starring cast of horny Starcraft-inspired marines. BoneCraft is a game with balls, in more ways than one.
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